Individual Text Feature: Breathing Underwater

     “Breathing Underwater” by Alex Flinn is a coming of age novel that is narrated by an adolescent protagonist. Nick deals with many of the common problems faced by teenagers. In the beginning of the novel he has trouble talking to a girl he likes, he worries about his athletic ability and his success a football player, and he seeks the approval of his peers. However, Nick is silently dealing with his abusive father. In turn he himself struggles with anger issues, abusive behavior, and feeling helpless. Throughout the novel, Nick is reflecting on the past and realizing the extent of the issue. In doing this, he is finally able to find healing and begin form an identity far from that of his father.

     The book begins in a courthouse in Miami, Florida. Nick is there with his father because his ex-girlfriend Caitlin is asking for a restraining order against him. The judge’s questions are answered and it is revealed that the relationship was abusive and that Nick hit her. The judge grants the restraining order and sentences Nick to six months of counseling on dealing with violence and anger. She also requires him to write 500 words a week in a journal. He is supposed to clear things up (for himself) by writing about what happened from the time he met Caitlin to the day in the courthouse. The novel consists of Nick’s diary entries, a reflection of the past, and his narration of his current life. When Nick is having a difficult time, he throws himself into writing about Caitlin. He ends up writing much more than the required 500 words per week. For the sake of clarity, I will brief the story of Caitlin and Nick before going into Nick’s life after the restraining order.

     Nick sees Caitlin at the beginning of their sophomore year. She has always been around but no one noticed her until now. She lost a lot of weight at a summer camp and “everyone was talking about it.” Encouraged by his best friend Tom, he asks her out to a party and they begin to date. It becomes clear as soon as Nick starts dating Caitlin that he is overly obsessive and controlling. At the party, He gets extremely jealous when Caitlin talks to one of the other football players. Elsa, Caitlin’s best friend, does not like Nick and the hatred is mutual. Nick responds by demanding that Caitlin “get rid of her.” Nick reflects on the time his dad beat him, causing him to miss school and a football game. He calls Caitlin during school and is furious when she doesn’t leave class to answer. He calls her a bitch for wanting to go to the football game without him. Caitlin stops by to check on him and realizes what his father did. She becomes the only person in Nick’s life to know about his family issues. As he figures out what he can get away with, Nick becomes more and more emotionally abusive to Caitlin. When she wears a necklace he doesn’t like, he orders her to take it off. When she does, he throws it out the window of the car. Caitlin is upset and wants to go home and Nick begins to freak out that she will break up with him. He takes her to see dolphins swimming behind his house and convinces her to forgive him. They bond over their poor familial relationships.

     Tom notices Nick’s manipulative behavior towards Caitlin and calls him out but Nick just blows him off. Just after this conversation, Nick finds Caitlin at choir practice standing “too close” to a male peer. He drags her out the door, accuses her of wanting to sleep with him, calls her a slut, and grips her arm hard enough to leave a mark. She starts apologizing profusely (even though Nick hurt her) and Nick does too. Nick writes “In a way, it felt good, knowing she’d forgive anything. Safe” (105). When Caitlin tells Nick she has to visit her dad for spring break instead of going to the keys with their friends, he verbally abuses her until she agrees that she would rather go to the keys. When they go to Key West, Tom behaves poorly as usual. Caitlin finally stands up for herself and tells Nick that he doesn’t always treat her well. He responds to the conversation with more emotional abuse. On top of that he starts driving recklessly, acting as if he is going to drive the car off the bridge. When Caitlin gets scared and tries to grab for the wheel Nick hits her. Nick apologizes immediately, but tries to make excuses for his actions. The next day, he stops by her house to pick her up for school, but she says she doesn’t want to see him anymore. Nick gives her a ring with her birthstone and begs her to take him back. She gives in and they continue dating. Caitlin is invited to sing in the school talent show but Nick doesn’t want her to so berates her until she agrees that she’s not good enough. One night Nick has drinks with his father and ends up at Tom’s house afterward. He almost tells Tom about his abusive father, but he doesn’t. Nick writes, “I always wondered if things would have turned out differently if I talked to Tom that night” (175). The issue of Caitlin singing in the talent show comes up a few more times and Nick puts her down every time someone brings it up. During the talent show, Nick learns that the choir teacher came to get Caitlin and their friends convinced her to sing. He is furious when he can’t find her to stop her from performing. After the show Nick beats up Caitlin in the parking lot as people walk by. He doesn’t let up until someone finally pulls him off and knocks him out. It was Tom. Nick’s journal about his relationship with Caitlin ends here.

     While Nick’s journal entries about his relationship are a huge part of the novel, they are dispersed throughout his narration of life after the restraining order. Nick faces isolation from everyone in school. None of his old friends will talk to him and everyone whispers as he walks by. For the first few weeks ok Nick’s small group Family Violence class, no one wants to open up. All the boys are defensive and aggressive when they speak. Over the period of the course their instructor, Mario, is able to get most of them to engage and understand themselves better. Many of the other guys in class talk about their (ex) girlfriends. They exhibit the same controlling and abusive behavior that Nick displayed towards Caitlin. Nick wonders whether or not he is like them, and he is in denial. Outside of small group, Nick is continuously trying to see Caitlin, despite the restraining order. He plans to run into her in the hallway and continuously calls her just to hang up. After stalking Caitlin and her friend around the mall, Nick confesses to Mario that he is worried about violating his restraining order. One of Nick’s teachers, Miss Higgins, has intuitively figured out that his dad abuses him. She also praises Nick’s poems and encourages him to write for the school’s literary journal. Nick befriends Leo, a guy from his class who got his girlfriend, Neysa, to drop her restraining order against him. Nick volunteers at carnival with Leo and Neysa. He is appalled at the way Leo treats her. He is also upset that he can relate so well to the behavior that he now labels as abuse. A week later, Nick learns from Mario that Leo shot and killed his girlfriend before also turning the gun on himself. Nick wonders if that could have ever been him and Caitlin. He tries to deny it but he is unsure. On the last day of small group, Nick understands a crucial lesson. In order to respect and love other people, you must also respect yourself. The next time Nick’s father tries to bully him, he stands up to him. When he tries to hit him in response, Nick yells “you are not going to hit me any more” repeatedly. His father shrinks back and Nick wonders why he ever saw his father as powerful. Back at school, Tom approaches Nick. He found out that Nick wrote one of the poems that was published in the paper. Through the poem, Tom finally saw Nick’s relationship with his dad. Nick confesses that he thought Tom wouldn’t want to help or be friends with him if he knew. Tom is saddened by this and asks for forgiveness. He forgives Nick as well and they reestablish their (deeper and more understanding) friendship.

     A clear theme in this novel is understanding and correcting controlling and abusive behavior. It would be possible for me to explore the use of small groups to help troubled teens. Going to small group in addition to keeping a journal helped Nick understand himself and his behavior. I could also explore how keeping a journal can help troubled teens. While not all teens can directly relate to the theme of abusiveness, the novel has other important themes. The issue of confidence and low self-esteem is evident in both main characters, Caitlin and Nick. It would be interesting to explore how low self-esteem is reflected in the character’s behavior and how behavior and self-respect changes when the characters gain confidence. Additionally, patriarchy directly influences the behavior of many characters in the book. Exploring how patriarchy affects developing teens and their behavior would be a possibility.  

Christina Bonfanti