Katsa is an Animal: "Animal I Have Become"

"Animal I Have Become"

Category B Prompt D

“My uncle thinks me a savage. He thinks me a killer. Well, isn’t he right? Didn’t I become savage when he entered the room? And what is it we’re practicing every day?” She tore apart a piece of bread and threw it onto her plate. She glared at her meal.

“I don’t believe you’re savage,” he said.

She sighed, sharply. “You haven’t seen me with Randa’s enemies.”

He raised his cup to his lips and drank, then lowered it, watching her. “What will he ask you to do this time?”

She pushed the fire down that rose up from her stomach. She wondered what would happen if she slammed her plate on the ground, how many pieces it would break into.

“It’ll be some lord who owes him money,” she said, “or who refused to agree to some bargain, or who looked at him wrong. I’ll be told to hurt the man, enough so that he never dishonors my uncle again.”

“And you’ll do what he tells you to do?”

“Who are the fools who continues to resist Randa’s will? Haven’t they heard the stories? Don’t they know he’ll send me?”

“Isn’t it in your power to refuse?” Po asked. “How can anyone force you to do anything?”

The fire burst into her throat and choked her. “He is the king. And you’re a fool, too, if you think I have a choice in the matter.”

“But you do have a choice. He’s not the one who makes you savage. You make yourself savage when you bend yourself to his will.”

She sprang to her feet and swung at his jaw with the side of her hand. She lessened the force of the blow only at the last instant, when she realized he hadn’t raised his arm to block her. Her hand hit his face with a sickening crack.

Chapter 12

Pages 120-121

Animal I Have Become

Three Days Grace 

I can't escape this hell
So many times I've tried
But I'm still caged inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
(This animal, this animal)

I can't escape myself
(I can't escape myself)
So many times I've lied
(So many times I've lied)
But there's still rage inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal

Somebody help me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
Somebody wake me from this nightmare
I can't escape this hell

(This animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal)

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
(This animal I have become)

This song is fitting for the passage because Katsa feels like an animal, or "savage," as she states.During her childhood, she struggles with her Grace: the ability to kill anyone. In fact, she ends up killing her cousin due to her embarrassment of his compliments regarding her eyes. Although as a teeanger she seemingly has a handle on her Grace, it still resides inside of her and she at times cannot control it. Her uncle uses her to his will to kill anyone who wrongly crosses his path, which hinders Katsa and her ability to truly grasp her skills to give the punishment that she sees fit. She wishes not to kill anyone who does not deserve it, but has a difficult time trying to fight her desires and what King Randa expects of her. Due to this, she becomes a savage because she feels she is losing a battle and does not know what to do. It is not until she meets Po that she realizes that she has the power to not be the savage she has become. I can picture this song playing softly in the background and building as she punches Po, because the beast has come out while Po is only trying to help her. She feels she is stuck within her uncle's orders, and she has not tried to defy him, as she fears his wrath. But Po helps her to revolt against King Randa when she does not kill a man she feels does not deserve it, and threatens to kill anyone who wrongly crosses her path. Soon Katsa takes responsibility of her Grace, and who she is, into her own hands, while falling in love with the man who helps her and finds out more about her Grace.